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I want to help her

by Jon (follow)
Rating: 5/5

I want to help her

I need some advice please. My cousin and I are very close, we live on the same road and are over each others house a lot. She is a great mum but has a lot of childhood trauma from my uncle who was very aggressive when they were children - she has a lot of anxiety around things not being done on time and when she is angry it fuels her anxiety. When her 3 kids aren't doing what they are told she can get quite angry, which I know is normal but there is a lot of "why would you do that? Are you stupid?" Or "stop being an idiot and go clean that up". She often as well will ask them to do something and then within seconds scream "hurry up" or tell them to do something which they do but then she realises they didn't do something they were supposed to do earlier so she will scream at them to do the first thing and then a minute later scream at them because they aren't doing the second thing either.

I have kids too and I raise them with gentle parenting which I know isn't everyone's cup of tea but we've spoken about what I do with my kids and she says she wants to do that with her kids but then struggles to do it. She has spoken about seeing a therapist as she knows it's an issue but hasn't done it yet.

I don't feel like it's at the level that any sort of intervention from any social sources would really help as I have seen a lot more severe cases not get anywhere (we have another cousin who works as a social worker for DCP) and she genuinely loves her kids and they love her, they are very close. Has anyone dealt with this before and has any advice on how I can help? I know a lot of people will tell me to mind my own business but I genuinely want to help her and not shame her for her mental issues, but I am stuck on what I can even do.

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